Redneck Tale # 61 – The confused telemarketer

It's time to tap into the fun a Redneck with a photocopier can have with a peddler of super-duper new photocopiers. Tap on into the phone conversation, the one that really happened.

It is of some importance to understand that, the more agressive the telemarketers, the more fun a person can have in dealing with them.

It can be granted that telemarketing – selling something to someone over the telephone – is a difficult job. Persuasiveness, persistence, and pleasing personality are several of the successful telemarketer’s skills and attributes. The better peddlers have them. Those lacking them are likely to soon be looking for another occupation.

Making the sale is the whole thing. To accomplish that goal, the conversation with a would-be customer has to be directed by the sales person. When the talking, the explaining, and the likely entreating goes off-subject, there goes the sale – nowhere.

Like most offices, this one had a large photocopier machine. It is usually a safe bet on the part of a telephone-bound sales person that calling an office to attempt selling a photocopier there will beat trying to sell one to a guy selling popcorn from a bicycle basket. Stands to reason, right?

It is also very reasonable that the person who answers the office telephone will do one of several things when called by a copy machine telemarketer. They will be polite and businesslike when answering the telephone, or they will be annoyed, brusque, and act that way toward the peddler, or they will be grateful for the diversion afforded by being called to the phone.

Gus was at the desk in the office when the call came. It was a fellow who wanted to sell the outfit a new photocopier. The guy got right to the point.

"I am calling about your office’s photocopier."

Gus flashed a great big smile; normal for Gus, but this time it was one of those ear-to-ear jobs.

"Oh, man! You are the first to call about that. We just placed the advertisement in ‘Craigslist’ this morning. That was fast!"

"What?" came back from the telemarketer. "What ad are you talking about?"

"The one about us selling our old photocopier because we plan on buying a new one," said Gus. We don’t want an arm and a leg for it, either – only $100 provided you come to get it. If we have to ship the thing, it’ll cost you another $70 because that is what the shipping company wants to deliver it anywhere here in the city."

"No, no! I don’t want to buy your photocopier."

"Well, my goodness, why then did you respond to our advertisement?" asked Gus.

"I did not see any advertisement..."

Gus jumped in. "Well then, how did you know about our copier machine?"

"I didn’t know about your copier machine, Gus. I was calling you about our automatic, high speed photocopier."

"You know, sir, you are a very strange sort of person. You have a fine copier machine already, so why in the world would you call to inquire about our old one? I don’t know about you, but my guess is that you may need some help with your problem."

"I don’t have a problem! I want to tell you about our automatic, high-speed photocopier. That’s the reason for my telephone call. I don’t want to hear about your old copier."

And so the conversation went on about why the guy was calling. He finally gave up. Gus thanked him for his "ever-so fast" response to the "Craigslist" classified ad for the old office copier (which, by the way, was not at all for sale). So, after spending almost 15 minutes talking to Gus, the man finally came out with a very frustrated-sounding good bye.

"I have to get off the phone now. Nice talking with you, Gus."